Don’t let me hold onto you because I can’t make any promises that I’ll let go, but you’re all I’ve got right now and I need you so bad. I’m sorry. I love you. I never get tired of you and I always want you right next to me. You make me the happiest little thing I could be and you don’t even realize it. You have no idea how much I want you asdfghjk. Meh it saddens me that I could never be what you want. I get really angry at myself for sucking so much, I know you know I suck okay :c whatever.
And I know I only feel this way because you’re my best friend and practically the only guy who gives me any attention, even though I swear more than half is out of pity and makes you feel a little bit better about yourself. My brain (and my heart duh) don’t know any better. Although these feelings are probably exaggerated just let me keep them for now yeah?

Meditation was beautiful. I feel at peace. I didn’t even argue with my mom tonight; I don’t have the desire or strength to raise my voice. I wish I was calm more often I’m kind of a lot in a little girl. Things seem to be looking up.How nice. I sort of feel wiser or something because a lot seems more possible, I know myself differently and I’ve changed for such the better. I don’t feel like I need guidance, I feel like everything might just be okay.